Friendship - Speak the Truth in Love

Speak the Truth in Love ( Proverbs 27:5-6,9-10,17 )

Part of being a friend is being able to speak the truth in love. A friendship that is only based on telling someone what they want to hear is not much of a friendship at all.

We need people that will help to lead us in the right ways of life, and let us know when we've failed. I'd rather hear about a mistake and heed correction early, before it becomes something that overtakes my life. You wouldn't want a doctor that tells you that you're fine, when he knows that you have cancer, would you?

You don't want a friend that will not tell you the truth. Certainly there is some caution here - a friend is not one who delights in telling you that you've gained a lot of weight, or that you look ridiculous. But, a friend will tell you what you need to know when you need to know it.


Can you be wounded by a friend? I would say that you can, and I certainly believe that is part of being a friend. We aren't out to hurt our friends, but we need to be truthful, and sometimes the truth hurts. I'd rather be told the truth by my friends, and have it hurt, than to be deceived by my enemies.

A friend will care about the next step, and will want to help you through it - an enemy may only care about here and now, and may say anything to make something happen, whether it benefits you or not. But, you can be assured, a friend cares about you - an enemy cares about them.

The heart rejoices in the counsel of a friend. Not all counsel will cause wounds. In fact, most will be of great use in life. When you need to make a decision, it is always good to have a friend to help you through the issues.

A friend may not tell you what you need to do, as they may not know, but at least they can help you think through the issues. This brings up at least one note of importance - who is your friend, and what is their foundation. As Christians, we need to be about pleasing God - that really must be the overriding issue that applies to every decision. A friend that counsels away from God is really doing more harm than good.

Many of us have lifelong friends that may live in different states, or perhaps even different countries. It is great to have these people to call upon in times of need. However, in the midst of many trials, it is preferred to have a friend that you can rely upon NOW.

For example, if you have a fire in your house, isn't it good to have a friend that asks you to stay at their house until things get worked out? Or, if you have a sudden illness, a friend within reach is very much preferred. This is not meant to lessen the relationships we have with family, and for many people, it is their family that they would rely upon, as they still live in the same area. However, having friends that are within easy reach is a very positive thing for each of us.

Friends make you better. The phrase is iron sharpens iron. We learn from one another. This is true in many aspects. For example, you have a best friend all throughout high school. You were best of friends for many years, growing up, and you still considered him to be one of your best friends. You did all types of things together. One of them was to play tennis. To be honest, when you all first started, you both weren't that good. But, you played constantly. Two things happened. Your tennis games got much better, and you both played on the high school team, and you later played in college. But, more importantly than that, your friendship continued to grow. True friends will help you out and they will help you grow. Again, this shows the importance of Christian friends. In the interchange of two friends, the exchange of experiences, insights and wisdom has a powerful effect, impacting the perspectives and character of both.